Oh my, I just realized that I didn't update anything in 4 months??? The last post was about semester break! Now, I'm currently on my semester break hahahaha. Well, I think from this 4 months of hiatus you can tell how occupied I was. I couldn't find time to update this blog. If I had time, I spent it on catching my breath and sometimes reading. Speaking of reading, my reading progress was not like what I planned. I meant, I read 1 book in May and June. Nonetheless, I am still reading and proud of it. You did well, dear self!
Okay, back to the title. Sem 4 in a nutshell. I personally think semester 4 is the worst online semester ever. I don't think I will excel this semester like the past two semesters and I am ready to accept that. My lecturers are not being considerate. Yeah not all but most of them. I will remember all of it. I am not interested on elaborating what I just said. So yeah let's move on. Because the title itself stated in a nutshell so there you go. This semester is the worst. Exhausting. Burnout. Lack of motivation. Mental breakdown.
I don't know if next semester gonna be online as well or not, but it can be online based on the covid cases that currently not showing any good patterns. I am tired of this online classes. I admit that I like it at first but I don't think I can handle it anymore. I miss dolling up myself to go to classes. Well, I'm not that good in fashion but dressing up could uplift the mood. One of the motivations to study. I don't know if this makes sense? I have another 2 years before graduating. I really want to graduate like being physically at the hall wearing the convocation robe. So grateful I could experience that before the pandemic happened. Diploma is no longer my regret. I enjoyed those times.
Anyway, the next thing I wanna say is about my current obsession. Like I said earlier, I'm on my semester break. It's freaking 3 months holiday!!! I hope during this period I could rest as much as I needed to gain the motivation for the next semester. I have a bad instinct that I screwed this semester so I needed a very high motivation to get back on the track. I don't want to have a super long to do list because I just want to heal. Healing is what I need and this is a process. It's gonna take times so I will take as much times as long as I can heal. I'm tired of this academic stress and my old wounds that still hurting me. I am hurt. This 3 months will be my healing months.
So I'm not talking about my current obsessions yet. Hahaha sorry! I'm currently into making spotify playlists. HAHAHA I know I'm late but better late than never, right? I remember how songs from my mp3 accompany me during my healing journey. I still find comforts in the songs. I created 4 playlists. It will be more in the future! Depending on my mood. Actually I made one but I just don't listen to it often I don't know why hahaha until someone asked me my spotify playlist, there I realized I need to do it. People know how obsessed I am with songs and music so it's kinda weird that I didn't create even one hahahaha. I did actually but like I said I don't listen to it often. So there's one day where I feel like to make another one and carefully select the song and I'm in love with it. I love the journey of selecting songs and then when it finished I got to listen to them! Oh heaven!
The first playlist I ever made I named it sad and gloomy hahaha. Maybe because it's so sad and I don't feel like adding sadness in my life so I avoid listening to it. I included one song from Mr Sunshine OST and the rest are sad instrumental music. I could cry whenever I listen to those instrumental music. So, my next playlist, I named it <3 the white heart. This playlist makes me happy and comfort. It feels like those songs are hugging me. Call me crazy but that's how I feel. Then, I also added a kpop playlist but I need to have a mood to carefully select what songs should be in that playlist. I just added new fav like Weekend by Taeyeon, Rainbow by NCT Dream and Hello by Joy. I will take my time to discover more. Lastly, the one that I just created this morning called Malay/Indo [heartbreak emoji]. I still enjoy listening to those songs. Those songs were part of my life. I'm still adding and removing songs in that playlist. It is hard to select the songs that suits my mood/liking. So yeah that's it!
I think this is the longest post in my blog. I haven't updated for so long so here you are! May next month I have interesting thing to share because yeah I'm just staying at home. Not much I can do at home. It's not like we can have vacation, right? Oh I miss going to vacation. Till next time!
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